9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.[1]
2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.[2]
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I believe that a person can pray for any other person and know that it is God’s desire for them to be saved. Based upon I Peter, we learn that it is the desire of God that people be saved. In fact, we are told that the reason God hasn’t begun the end of the age yet is that He is waiting for people to accept His offer of salvation.
James tells us that there are two main reasons we do not receive the answers to our prayers. First, we may not be asking. If we are not praying for people, specific people to be saved, then we should not be surprised if they do not become Christians.
The second reason is that we are praying selfishly. In your case, I hardly think that there would be a possibility of praying for someone to be saved out of a selfish motive. But I suppose it is possible somehow.
The reason I wanted to type this up for you is that there are some people who believe that there are groups of people that God does not want to save. For whatever reason, and there are several different reasons given, they will teach you that your loved one may not be one of God’s chosen people to be saved. So therefore, you cannot pray with confidence.
I believe that is completely wrong and a misunderstanding of Scripture as well as the heart of God. But the truth of the matter is that God has given every person a free will. Men are free to accept or reject the Gospel. We cannot force anyone to be saved.
Paul was clear and prayed for his brethren, “Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved.” He prayed with a burden and confidence. I believe we can do the same thing for our loved ones.
Will this guarantee that they will accept Christ? No one can guarantee someone else’s salvation. In fact, Paul tells us this: “That I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. 3 For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh:” 4[3]
He could certainly understand the burden of your heart!
So I would encourage you to pray with faith, asking God to work. You can be confident that God WILL work. Realize you may not see Him at work outwardly. But I do believe you can pray in faith and trust God. Your loved one will, in the end, have to choose to accept the free gift of salvation. I know that is a scary thing, but it is part of how God has allowed each person to accept or reject.
I hope this is helpful to you.
[1] The Holy Bible: King James Version. 2009 (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version.) (2 Pe 3:9). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
[2] The Holy Bible: King James Version. 2009 (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version.) (Jas 4:2–3). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.
[3] The Holy Bible: King James Version. 2009 (Electronic Edition of the 1900 Authorized Version.) (Ro 9:2–4). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.